Hello fellow females (and males if you're reading, I don't discriminate). This post will either be completely relatable, or make you think I'm a slobby, lazy non-woman, who needs to stripped of her womanlyness immediately. I'm sure (hoping) that if you're a girl (or even if you're not. Again, I ain't hatin'), you'll come across these sort of things in life, and think "my god I'm so bad at being a girl". This happens to me on the regular, and even though there are lots of girly tasks that I relish in, there are others that make me scream with frustration. Whichever way you take this post, I hope you enjoy reading it/laughing at my sad life.
Without further ramblings, here are 10 'girl' things that I'm bad at:
1) Doing my nails
It's something that I get excited to do in my head, but when it comes to actually doing, I get so frustrated I nearly end up tearing the buggers off my finger. I am a serial smudger, I can't have my nails too long due to wearing contact lenses, I chew my cuticles (yes I know that's gross, it's a nervous habit), and I always forget to put on a top coat because I'm lazy, and this leads to chipping. I am absolutely USELESS when it comes to my nails
2) Cleaning my make up brushes
Now what's the rule here? a quick clean whenever you use it, and then a deep clean once a month? All I have to say to that is: HAHAHAHAH okay then. I actually physically went out and bought some make up cleanser, which is the easiest thing to use! Simply spray onto a cotton pad and wipe away the excess dirt, it could not be simpler, and I'm STILL bad at doing this. I sometimes do this every now and then (when I remember/am arsed to). I also only give them a deep clean maybe once every 6 months (hides).
3) Moisturising my body
I am really bad for this. Unless I've got that amazing Nivea in-shower moisturiser, then this job just ain't getting done. The furthest I'll go is moisturising my legs after I've shaved them, but that's the only time I actually think about moisturising my body. I know it's important, it's just when you've got that post-shower/bath laziness, it takes a lot to get your whole BODY moisturised, and then waft yourself about until you've dried off. Am I right?
4) Having regular haircuts
This is again, pure laziness and forgetfulness. I will leave my hair a good six months without going to the hairdresser to have my mop chopped. I am really really trying to get better at this! I'm trying to get my hair to a point where I'm really happy with it, just at the minute I'm not loving it. I tolerate it, and I am happyish with it most of the time. Hopefully this is something I can work on. I'm considering going for a 'lob' next time I go!
5) Leaving spots/blemishes alone
Right, if I see a spot, it's getting squeezed. I know you're meant to leave them to do their thing, but there's nothing I enjoy more, than a nice big juicy whitehead. My boyfriend and I are actual spot freaks. We send each other snapchats when we wake up with a good zit, we go mad over those viral videos with the freakishly big and bad ones, and I don't think we can make it through an evening without one of us saying 'Ooh let me have a go on your back'. Yes I realise this might be an overshare, but I don't think I'm alone on this! Please let me know if you're also a closet spot obsessive.
6) Painting my toenails
I know this kind of fits into the first point, but I'm even more useless at doing my toenails than I am my fingernails. I think it comes down to laziness again, but I think unless they're on show, then what's the point? I'll only ever plan to do them if I'm going out in shoes where you can see them (sometimes that will even affect my shoe choice - yeah I know).
7) Doing 'the messy bun'
This is not for lack of trying I tell you. The messy bun is one that I've tried to master on numerous occasions, but 9 times out of 10 it just looks messy messy rather than chic messy. There always comes that point too where you've been fiddling around with it for that long trying to make it look good, that your arms start to ache and feel like they're going to fall off. Someone please show me an easy way to pull this look off without looking like a tramp.
8) Fake tanning
I've got to the point with fake tan, where I just don't bother. I used to do it, and I'd look freaking ridiculous. It's something that I've never been able to master doing well. Also I'm the palest person on the planet, so I think that makes it look even worse on me. If there are any tanning products out there that work with borderline albino girls, then please let me know!
9) Wearing Heels
I just can't. I'd rather go out in flats, than have to endure that god awful pain any more. The only heels I can stand are those thick ones that can actually stabilise me for an evening. I wish I could be one of those flawless Carrie Bradshaw types that make heels look so effortless, but that just isn't me. I'd rather go out and be comfortable in my shoes, than want to cut my feet off/look like bambi on ice/be moaning all night!
10) False Eyelashes
This is more of a fear rather than something I'm bad at. As I mentioned, I wear contact lenses, so the thought of messing up around my eye area scares me. I always think 'what if the glue gets in my eye!' which yes, would be an unbelievably stupid thing to accomplish, but have you met me? Again, this is something that I'm going to try and get over, because I do love the look of them when they're done properly.
So there you have it! I'm officially a terrible female. I might do a series on trying to master each of these things for your entertainment, if that's something I can actually get myself to doing! Let me know if you're useless like me, We can start a support group!
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post